One day , you will know what I've actually did.
The truth is that everything will be revealed and you will realised that it's not what you've been thinking long ago.
You are moving on now or perphaps you have already moved on.
I hope, I really hope that I'll pop up in your mind impromptully, and you will miss me.
Why am i still here holding on for nothing ?
You're moving on, so i will do the same.
Cause my chance of getting you back is almost just 5 percent out of the universe of girls.
Because you are treating me cold as if like i have camouflaged with the air.
Everyone can see me other than you.
Am i really the air in front of you ?
Just walk pass like nobody business ?
Is that the difference between friends and ex ?
Come on, you can be so friendly to your friends but why not me ?
We used to chat, laugh, play for YEARS.
Can i compare myself with your friends?
I am the one who witness your growing process, from a emo freak to now ? friendly.
Isn't that nice?
But why cant you be friendly to me?
How silly, why am i waiting.
If can, i really hope that i wont get to see you during school hours.
i dont want to.
Please dont bring the memories together with you and hunt me down like shit.
do you have any idea how deep you have hurt me ?
you know or not?
some people always say the person who make you sad is feeling more hurt that you.
i dont see that on you.
It's like im the only one hurting!
what happened to your feelings?!
GONE ?!
FREEZED ?!
WHYY.
okay fine. mirror image. AND, what comes around goes around.
Everyone will regret.
So do you really feel sorry for me before?
That you've moved?
Why the hell am i trying to get close with you again?
if that's how you treat me , trust me, somebody will treat you that one day.
you said the pain will gone after you ignored it ?
Hahaha, am i so worthless?
Can even earn the few months of your feelings there?
Then why am i still living here, like really meaningless.
changed my life.
like really really very much..
please come back to me.
please.
I will like to experience all the pain/ obstacles again than losing you.
YOU : Just remember, I was there when no one else was. - Me.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
FOREVER 21
Hey there, do you still remember this?
I used to say that I wanna work in there.
Forever 21, represents our monversary date.
TWENTY-ONE.
So we ended up like this and the "forever" which is in front of the 21 dies?
It's not you that hurt me, it's the memories.
You didn't realised that you went through many many tons of things with your beloved one until he's not yours anymore.
Today , i saw "Oreo Cheesecake" on twitter.
Still remember, we baked that at your house.
We both had fun yeah? (:
It just made me to the lowest of the rollar coaster, the emotional state.
"What comes around, goes around" , I finally knew how you felt for the past few years in tpss.
The feeling of admiring your secret admirer is really really bad.
What's more?
I have bf at that time.
What keeps you holding on whenever you told yourself to give up on me in the past ?
You said you just cant give up.
Last year, you've got me.
Your effort never fails.
Yet this year, it's all the opposite.
We're singles.
You're ignoring me.
In other words, you're avoiding me.
Im like the air, colourless, you cant see me.
I have one thing that i never tell you before.
It is that, i told myself that we can last for at least three years. (:
Who knows we ended in this state of strangers?
You have the choice to keep this relationship secretly.
But you never.
You told me that your parents want us break in order for you to focuz in your Os.
I said your choice.
I respect you. Respect your decision too.
In the end you broke with me.
You gave up this relationship.
Dont you think it's a waste because this isnt all you wanted for the past few years?
You are wasting your efforts.
Well, you're showing me that you're moving on.
Hope you're doing fine yourself, without me.
As for me, i will stay strong.
I will put the silly smile on my face, even if it's a fake one.
As long as other people are happy, why not?
Im not that selfish.
In front of you , I will be myself.
I will be happy, without you because you set me free.
So i must be happy..
Freedom is all i wanted last time.
Thanks for giving me that now.
I shall blog next time.
I need to chill.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Tomorrow is the 29th. Monthversary for foreveralone. Really wanna ask how are you? Is everything doing fine ? Got the urge to talk to you face to face straight. But will you give me a chance ? I dont know. My friends said that you're moving on already. How could you ? You left me wondering around the forest. Leaving me behind, and you ownself moved on. Im so stupid, why am i still hanging down there waiting for you ? why ? and you dont even give a damn about me. Im transparent right ? Can, why humans are like that? I always wonder that if humans die, where do we go ? where actually ? To a new world? Reborn ? And everything repeats ? Who knows? And when we die, who will be there for you ? Who will be there to sent you away? For me, Im not sure. But if i really die, my family will be there. who else? i dunno. will i get to meet you in my new life? will you be there ? ...
Friday, February 17, 2012
Valentine's DayHow's your valentine's day my dear ?
Happy ? Sad ? Awkward
Anybody rival of mine gave you present ? (:
Hmmmm, hope it's a normal day for you.
Cause it was a normal day for me and it follows the same routine.
wake up ;school ;study ;home ;eat ;bathe ;sleep
correct ? aint special. it's not like as if 14feb have 48 hours.
Sorry of the above words.
I'm trying to say I'm #foreveralone .
It was my foreveralone day.
boy, i miss you terribly.
miss how close we used to be.
the three words.
miss everything can!
8months is really long.
but , i bet it will flyyyyyy pass just like last year.
"With a blink of an eye, i'm going to sit for O levels already."
Today i flipped through those yearbooks.
You're so innocent when you just came to school.
I miss the mornings that we played together.
I went to your classroom, and sit at your place, bending to see what's underneath your table. BOOKS ! I found books and i took them away ! (;
Do you miss this ?
"WE WERE SO PURE".
We didn't kow what's love by then.
If you can persevere the love from sec 1/2 to sec3 till we began and ended, then now it's my turn to persevere, just 8 months only. It's much more lesser than the time you waited. I'm unsure about your feelings, but i will still love you secretly.
please dont hurt yourself or anything, calm down when you're pissed alright?
To you :
锋，我知道你在逃避或者你觉得这样能让我忘记你。
你说可以吗？
我很想念你，不过星期一至五能远远的看着你，我已满足了。
你想我吗？你对我的爱呢？消失了吗？
锋，我希望你能开开心心的过没有我的日子。
我相信中有一天你会习惯的。
宝贝，请好好照顾自己。
因为如果你不开心，我已经不可以做什么了。
不像以前，我不可能会在你生旁安慰你了。你也不一定会要我的安慰。
我还是很爱很爱着你，你是否还爱我？
锋，我会一直等你，等你回到我的身边。
-很爱很爱你的我。
whale you be mine again? <3
Thursday, February 9, 2012
At the same day, we went in this maze. And something happened. :xI got shocked cause there's a fake reptile there!! ):
As usual, He laughed at me. ):
This is the picture that I captured on that day we went out in a relationship or friends only.AWKWARD.
What does this feeling feels like ?
I have been feeling awkward when i sees him.
Awkward when coincidentally our eyes match with each other.
And what's next ?
There's a repelling force in between as and it forced us to look away immediately.
I'm feeling like this all the while.
Nothing can help it.
Perhaps nobody can help me either.
Can like seriously get this feeling out of me ?
This feeling sucks.
Even more sucks than heartbroken.
No conversation to talk.
"We are playing a reading mind games right!!"
I will continue to play this game with you.
See who will be the winner.
And the loser must text the winner after O level. ^^
"I need you so much closer."
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
See that cycle ? So i believe that we will be friends again.
Please answer me this.
I miss you.Do you miss me ?
Okay, as for now i wanna say about the past.
when Im sec2, you bought a milkshake at small mc there.
I drank a slip of it. NAISE LIKE SHIT.
Okay, do you know that you actually introduce one song called "Like we used to" ?
And the other is "The Great Escape" ?
It was introduced when i'm still with b , the day that we went to beach, we brought sushi there ya remember ? I caught a photo of you. I still have it. (: Next post then i post! Alright, back to the topic, that day people accused that we're together. This is the reason why you introduced me that song. (:
Like we used to.
Naise song.
But can we go back to the past, like we used to ?
why you wanna get rid of me ?
you dont wanna be related to me?
are you trying to run away?
First, you deleted our group in facebook.
Second, this happened.
Avoiding huh ?
My friend , (s)he deleted his/her ex because (s)he know that (s)he will stalk him/her.
Stalking ends up with unhappiness and jealousy.
therefore, (s)he deleted his/her ex.
And what's your reason ? Thought you say we still can contact?
soooooooooooo are you going to deleted me in fb sooner?
idk. please dont.
You seems upset today. What actually happened ?
I dont even dare to text you anymore.
Because i seriously hate single word replies.
scared that there's really no topic for us to chat with.
fear that once i texted you, you will explode like a volcano.
fear that I'm the one who irritates you.
fear this and fear that.
I hope you're fine now. I will support you mentally.
Pardon me for not being beside you to motivate you, to cheer you up.
Sorry, because i dont know how to face you.
what should i do when you're standing in front of me ?
my mind will be blank.
wordless.
hope there's nothing happened in your house.
hope your parents will support whatever you want to do.
but sadly, parents is the biggest.
we have to obey them.
If can, i really hope that they know what im feeling, know what their son feeling, is this what he like ?, breaking up with his gf because of studies?
come on, i helped him in studies before.
fine. they biggest. I will shut my mouth.
I hope that after O , you will text me. like really.
how you feel of me now ?
Is it fading love?
PAST ?
why are you surrender your love to fate ?
aint fate want us to stay together?
why you gave up so easily like as if i hurt you that much that you can easily get rid of those pain, and me ?
Dear fate ,
Please give me back my love. I need him. Please dont be cruel to me. Please cover the distance that is in between us. Please tell him to text me when i need him, and after O levels. Thank you, and I love you. So you must love me back and treat me well.
-qing.
Alright i shall stop here and go to my lalaland lo! ^^
anyways, i have to wait for next year march then i can take back my N level canvas board. :/
Whale you be mine ? Like we used to.
Like seriously ? Tell me. What i mean to you ? Strangers?
Or friends ?
So i wont give up.
Tell me what you want me to do to make you stay.
Cause i dont know what to say anymore.
If there's 11:11 twice in a day , then why cant i have the second chance ?
Is it killing you too ?
TOO NAIVE.
I am being too naive to think that you still feel for me.
Are you really really feeling that happy without me ?
If really in that case, so be it. (:
forget me all you want.
There's no zq exist in your life.
you just kicked me out of your life by breaking up with me,
and your feelings faded.
well done.
Am i that fail ?
Such a failure to even fail to make you to stay, make you to hang on for just this few months of time.
Or even, you didn't planned to come back with me.
I just fail to be a human. )':
Chloe Chin Zi Qing. Retarded 16.
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